Yeah but speed kills!

http://www.news.com.au/couriermail/story/0,23739,22427799-5007200,00.html

PHILIP Lamattina’s spectacular effort at Willowbank near Ipswich on Saturday night has already assumed legend status among Australia’s drag racing fraternity.

He miraculously escaped unscathed from the 500km/h smash that destroyed his $250,000 Top Fuel dragster.

The publisher(s) of this story oughtta be ashamed of themselves. Everyone knows (note: I am exempt from accusations of argumentum ad populum fallacies because I am (and circular reasoning too, got it?)) that SPEED KILLS! Here these journalists are implicitly refuting the known established perversion… er… correction, of the laws of Physics and our understanding of space and time! This is nothing short of failure of reason and I now expect deaths on our roads to increase substantially. All because of some irresponsible journalist(s)!

Actually, I take it back. You see, it was a miracle. Yes, notice the use of the adverb, ‘miraculous’ in the second paragraph. Instead of contradicting our government’s established scientimplistic (yes, I made that up :)) understanding, the article exonerates itself by attributing the whole affair to a miracle. This is permitted under the laws of illogic, which any person is free to invent for themselves, right? Of course.

So you see, that makes sense now. Phew!